Our Three Cents: If you are What you Eat...
by Richard Steel

A New Branch of KFC
At 11,500 feet the Peruvian City of Cuzco provides some breathtaking views and is a base camp for travelers intent on hiking the famous Inca trail. It's also great for coca leaves, and another particularly unique Andean delicacy. As I trudged through the markets one day, nauseous and dizzy from altitude sickness, I noticed a man carrying a sack slung over his shoulder, the contents of which were a writhing, living mass of who knew what. Later, at an old, dilapidated restaurant, furnished with crude wooden tables and rectory style benches a band of three Peruvian men wove their way around the tables, rocking out with their panpipes.

Aggressive Aphrodisiacs
Having lost my crew amidst the wild revelers of New Orleans Mardi Gras. I took solace in an off-Bourbon Street restaurant for a few minutes to regroup. No sooner had I escaped the insistent mob of a crowd outside than I encountered two hustlers behind the oyster bar who threw me in a chair and had a menu in front of me before you could say "give me some beads." Both immediately donned massively thick, chain metal gloves and shouted in unison "Oysters!" Before I could agree (or not) they each picked up a knife in one gloved hand and a living saucer-sized oyster in the other. One quick slice and flick of the knife and the poor mollusk had no idea it had been transformed into an aphrodisiac. The boys shoved a half dozen slowly dying creatures under my nose and schooled me in the fundamentals of "shooting". Pour off the excess seawater while ensuring the huge slimy bivalve doesn't spill out by pressing down on it with the index finger of the same hand. Next add lemon juice, a dollop of Heinz 57 and a dab of the hottest horseradish ever. After all this, down the hatch in one gulp. It was difficult to swallow in one go, but one doesn't want this massive creature on the palate for long - so exceptions are made as the gag reflex kicks into action. But it's actually an acquired taste. Now I see why they are considered a delicacy and enjoyed the spicy, salty, sour, cool taste. However, despite the chain-mail gloves and domineering style of the oyster shuckers, it remains a mystery to me why oysters can be considered any kind of an aphrodisiac.

Just Swallow. It's the Polite Thing to Do.
Zimbabwe in September is hot and dusty. My girlfriend and I had been on safari all morning viewing elephant, springbok and giraffe. We all waited patiently for our guide while he stopped to chat with his friend at a ranger station. He emerged from the station carrying a wooden bowl. His meal consisted of a very dark green boiled leafy vegetable, a thick corn paste and what we would have referred to in summer camp as "mystery meat". It was brown, swirling in some sort of a sauce, and was shaped like fussili pasta. Our guide's friend pinched together some vegetable, paste and corkscrew meat and happily gorged himself. I asked our guide what it was and after prompting his friend in a thick Xhosa accent I found myself staring at an outstretched hand offering up the curious meat. My girlfriend and the rest of our safari party began to egg me on to give it a taste. So I summoned up some courage and took the jiggling handful and shoved it in my mouth. Both Africans immediately began laughing as I chewed and chewed on this stringy, marinated meat. It tasted of venison and had the consistency of old car tire. Fearful of being rude by spitting it out, I managed to force it down and demanded to know the origin of this foul sustenance. I heard "springbok guts" through the guys' contorted bursts of laughter. Ahh, that most traditional of disemboweled delicacies.